


Almost

by amoama



Category: Looking (TV)
Genre: Character Study, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-24
Updated: 2015-10-24
Packaged: 2018-04-27 22:45:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5067514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amoama/pseuds/amoama
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This thing with Patrick and Richie.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Almost

It was just one of those immediate things, that delightful flicker of _want_ that draws you to someone before you know anything about them. If science has explained that already Richie hasn’t heard about it. It was just a normal day, his regularly scheduled commute and a cute guy on the bus he couldn’t help striking up a conversation with. He doesn’t do that very often. 

The pleasure of Patrick is how easy he is to provoke; his blushes, his confusion, his sincere happiness at getting attention. Perhaps it’s not that big of a deal but Richie would never let himself be that exposed, and Patrick, for all his hypochondria and anxiety, is fearless about opening himself up to others. 

Patrick’s not as cute as he thinks he is. He’s not as compassionate or as thoughtful as he wants to believe, but then, maybe he doesn’t really think he is at all, underneath. And he almost is. Half-earnest, half-affectation, it’s hard to figure out where the real Patrick is sometimes, but other times he looks at Richie and his eyes say it all, lay out all his hopes and insecurities, express everything Richie was wondering about, whether he wanted to see it or not. Patrick’s truth can feel like a sledgehammer, bitter blow after bitter blow. Richie doesn’t get why he keeps coming back for more. Does he really want to be friends with Patrick or is he just a glutton for punishment? This almost-man he almost-loved. 

Richie’s never wanted to be there for someone the way he wanted to be there for Patrick. To build him up, guard his vulnerabilities, calm him, support him and see him succeed. He’s never needed the same in return before either, but this time he did, and Patrick couldn’t do it. It’s good to remember that because whenever he sees Patrick he always feels himself responding to that same flicker of interest. 

What is it about Patrick? Richie tries not to think about it. It’s something wistful and precious and just out of reach. 

They’re on two shores, looking at each other across the water, and there’s no bridge. 

If Richie waved at him, Patrick would probably jump right into the water and start swimming towards him. He’d start out strong and the sun would make his skin shimmer and geld his hair, but the currents would grab him half way across and Richie might drown trying to pull him to shore. 

If Patrick leapt, though, Richie knows he would go in after him. 

So he keeps his arm at his side, unwavering, and turns his face to the sun so that he can’t see the mirage of the golden boy on the shore opposite.


End file.
